You know, there was once a day where the branding of products was predictable, and more importantly, logical. Let’s take Intel for example. The first major, mainstread processor most of you will remember is the Pentium - which was followed up by the Pentium 2, Pentium 3, and finally the Pentium 4, logically speaking. It was safe to assume that the Pentium 2 was better than the Pentium, and so on.

But somewhere along the line they decided that that was simply too boring. It wasn’t edgy enough - so hey! They thought. Let’s ditch the Pentium branding which most everyone knows (although it’s worth noting that they would later revive the Pentium branding with the new Pentium Dual-Core, completely destroying the established pattern that the Pentiums were their premium and mainstream chips), and bring in something new. So out of this idea came the birth of - no, not the Pentium 5, but the Intel Core 2 Duo.

So now, just two and a half years later, we find ourselves staring at the face of a new generation of Intel processors. These times are exciting, and Intel must realize this. The new processors, previously codenamed Nehalem, deliver up to a 33% increase on comparable Core 2 Duo processors. That’s a pretty great jump. So what do we need in a time like this?

A brand spanking new brand name, of course! Gone is the day of the Core 2 Duo (No Core 2 Duo 2? too many numbers, I suppose). Instead, help me usher in the brand new Intel Core i7. You can’t make this up. The Intel Core i7. Let’s ignore the fact that, as long as you’re willing to go out on a limb, logically speaking the name doesn’t even make any god damn sense. Using basic mathematics that most humans learn somewhere around the time they learn to stop sucking their own thumbs, this is actually the 6TH generation mainstream Intel processor, and not the 7th, as the i7 implies. Maybe the only reason I’m bugged about this is because of the major OCD I seem to have, but this is my blog. If you don’t agree with me, you are wrong.