Let me tell you a story. Many, many years ago, when I was just a little tike, I had a delicious and nutritious Subway Kids Meal. I honestly remember eating that sandwich to this very day - it was like the world stopped spinning, like all was right in the world, the pinnacle of perfection - it was like I had won the lottery of lunch-in meats.And so, I grew up, almost always with Subway at my side. I switched from Ham and Cheese to Turkey and Cheese all the way to the ever delicious Roast Beef, Ham, AND Turkey combo. But then something troubling began to happen - Quiznos Subs.

So, against all my better judgement, I gave this new challenger a whirl - a chance for them to win over Subway as the king of delicious meats. I ordered a turkey and cheese sandwich, expecting something wonderful to happen in my belly. And you know what? I have to give credit where credit is due - something certainly did happen in there. It screamed in agony and terror, became all rumbly and bumbly, and haunted me for the rest of my life with it’s memory. The simple turkey and cheese sub was absolutely disgusting. It made me want to burn the shop to the ground, steal their money, and use it to buy myself a real sub at Subway.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Wow, Brian has a real hatred for Quiznos.” Oh! But it doesn’t stop there, my friends! Even more recently, whenever tuning in the the television, I’ve been noticing those Quiznos commercials. You know the ones I’m talking about, the ones that have that b.s. “wrongway” marketing campaign. Ohoh! Wrongway, eh Quiznos? Subtle, subtle. Whoever the head of your marketing division is that allowed that to go enter production is pure genius, Quiznos. Genius.
 Some of you may even be saying to yourself, “But, Brian, as an Apple fan, you approve of the commercials smearing Microsoft!” Yes. Yes I do. But there’s a difference, a genuine, honest to god difference - I like Apple, and while I personally think Microsoft is heading in the right direction with Windows Vista, I don’t approve of Microsoft products as much. And, I just hate Quiznos.