So, big news lately, as I’m sure you’ve heard. New iPod classics. Delectable new iPod nanos. New shuffles colors, as well as the iPhone-less iPhone you’ve all been waiting for. Thanks Santa Steve. But, wait, as a “one more thing” sort of catch, he lets us all know that the greatest phone in the world, the iPhone, is now $399. That’s a $200 drop. You’d think this would have everyone literally singing with joy. You’d think there’d be people in their underwear dancing around on street corners. Alas, not. People are never happy. First they’re moaning that the iPhone is too expensive - “$599 for a phone!” you cried. Now it’s $399, and what were those same people saying? “BUT I PAID $599 ZOMG U RIPPED ME OFF!” Ridiculous.

And apparently, Steve Jobs thought so too. In an open letter to iPhone users, he acknowledged the fact that you’re all a bunch of whiney babies but attempted to please you by giving you all $100 in-store credit. That’s the price of Leopard with a student discount. That’s the new Apple Keyboard, iLife, iWork, and more. That should cease all your problems.

Alas, not. All over digg comments - “It was a marketing move.” or “wtf it’s only $100, why don’t we get $200!?!?” and even “I want cash.” I was dumbfounded. Apple need not give you any money, yet they did out of the goodness of their hearts. Didn’t you agree to pay $599 in the first place? Aren’t you getting your $599 worth? If so, that’s great, and you don’t deserve $100 free dollars. You don’t deserve that free iWork, or that free Leopard. You know, god hates whiners. I’ll be sure to do something nice with that free $100, Steve, thanks. I’m sorry you had to give it to me.